Salmon weasel 2022
The river is running right. Winter has kicked your teeth in. The world seems on fire. And where are you. Stuck at work. The internal dialogue wigging out and questioning every decision you have ever made. You are at work running on the wheel. Round and round it goes. Keep moving don’t you dare stop. The river is in mint nick. Sods law you’re at work. Theres bound to be a few fish about. Looking around the office you take a look at your colleagues. Zoned out, automated drones with grey pallid complexions stare at monitors like stunned cattle.Which style of five pound coffee will you buy this lunch time? Wrap, sandwich or salad. The rivers running right. Delicately bathed in bright spring sunshine its silver waters are falling clear. You know just which club water to fish. Thats if you weren’t here trapped in amber at work like a fossilised mosquito. Then one of the many Whats App group in which you reluctantly participate in pings you a digital bullet. A close friend has sent a selfie of himself in the river gently cradling a stunning springer. Their face is beaming, the image radiates an air of freedom. This digital flex is the straw that broke the camels back.
Fly Fishing – Podcast mixtape
Its time for you to take a deep dive into your annual sick leave allowance. Theres doubts. Obviously theres doubts. Real adults know they have responsibilities. A mature human should be able to suck it up. Focus. You need to focus. Ask yourself the big questions. Questions about love and life. Questions about mortality. Questions about freedom. Questions about the grind. Then start coughing all the way into your waders.
The guidelines for the weasel are outlined in episode 5 of the podcast
Episode 5, Only Love Can Do That – Hooked on Hope The Podcast
I wish Id spent more time at work said nobody on their deathbed EVER
The Salmon Weasel is awarded annually to the cunning angler who can catch an atlantic salmon while they should have been somewhere else. I.e trapped at work, doing DIY (it means do it yourself, it doesn’t mean ask me)or any other shit you’ve been unknowingly caught up in.
Welcome to the world of the Salmon Weasel. A chance to claim back time. A chance to join the escape committee. The Salmon Weasel is far more than just a trophy. Its much more than that. More than a trinket or bauble. It is a blazing symbol that your work life balance is still narrowly tipped in your favour. Its a gentle push back, a quick private flick of the V’s while nobody can see.
So as this is the tenth anniversary I want to throw open the books to this hallowed competition. Lets hear your stories of bunking off real life. The winner will not receive the trophy. Its too valuable to leave its home. Much like the urn for the Ashes never leaves Lords. The winner will get a copy of my new book ( currently being written ) and a guild of reason, be reasonable, sew on badge.
Good luck and wise weaselling.
Email your efforts to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Salmon Weasel Honour List –
Lamont, Boo Gilbraith, Steven Tomlinson, Clint Waddington, Michael Darlington, Phil Eddleston